This week's writing a free-verse poem task about my"
Nan's hands". We practised using semi-colons, a range of a sentence lengths and using better vocabulary. Our poems are based on an original poem written by Gary O'Connell.I chose to write about my Nan because she is so special to me.
I love to spend more time with her she so strong
My Nan's hands
are soft as a cute fluffy bunny;
her back is, sore as a broken bone :(
her legs, are tattooed(tattoos mean love,strength)
Her laugh is the joy to my heart ;
her voice, is alive to me.
posing,smiling so pride she the best
snapchat picture person ever
Hi Renei
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely poem about your nan, I think she would be proud to see how well you have described her. I hope her back starts feeling better soon.
I like the idea about her tattoos. You could write it without brackets and that would tell readers how important these are to your nan.
Your last couple of lines need to be looked at again, the last idea gets a little lost (e.g. smiling with pride?).
Excellent effort!
Mr N
Kia Ora Renei,
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good writing peace and I thought it would be a good idea if you add a little bit more detail. Next time you could add a bit more interesting words but overall it was a really good writing piece.
Question: What was your favourite bit about the writing?
From Ryleigh
Kia Ora Renei,
ReplyDeleteI love that picture of your Dad and your Nan.
You taught me that your Nan really likes taking selfies.
Maybe next time you should put the Quotation marks in front of my.
Does you Nan actually have tattoos on her legs?
Kind regards Leandri
Kia Ora
DeleteI am Renei's Nan, yes I have tattoo's on my arms and leg :)
Kia Ora Renei,
ReplyDeleteI liked the picture of your nan and dad. You taught me some things about your nan that must be quite fun to have a nan like that. Next time you could put some more words into it but that was really great well done.
What was you favrite bit about wtriting this?
Hope you do more.
Was this great?
From Tama Belfast school
Hello Renei,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Sofiya and I'm a year 8 at Belfast school.
I love the picture that you added onto your post. The poem is very detailed, and I love how you added "Her laugh is the joy to my heart".
What did you enjoy about the poem most?
-Sofiya
Aww this is lovely Monkey Mouse :)
ReplyDelete